I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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