You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
