47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize