I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
why do cheetos always look like penises
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
