Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
