And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We have started to decorate penises.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
