I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
