She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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