guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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