I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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