i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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