I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
