I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
