i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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