your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
