Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
