If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Girls should come with a carfax report
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
