i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
