just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
