i may or may not be watching the land before time
Acid is not a monday night drug
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
