is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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