i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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