Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
