i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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