I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize