i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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