Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
