Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
be right there i have to get my cape
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
