Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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