I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
