i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
