the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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