yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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