Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
