Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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