Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
