She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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