You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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