My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
