All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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