god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
