He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
