The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
