Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My room smells like vodka and shame
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
