my text book just quoted the cookie monster
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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