Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can tuck mytits in my pants
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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