these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
