I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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