oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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