in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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