): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
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I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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