The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
ttyl tear gas
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
