He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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