I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
