I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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