lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize