I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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