Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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