I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
