normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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